Obituary of Benita Cooper Marks
Benita Cooper Marks' Obituary
7/5/1936 - 10/15/2024
They say you can’t catch lightning in a bottle, but for the thousands of people whose lives were touched by Benita Cooper Marks, we know that’s not true. For more than 88 years, she was a truly magical human being who could heal broken hearts with a hug, solve seemingly unsolvable problems with a letter or a phone call, and make people feel loved and understood with a note she wrote on her personalized stationery. She always had the perfect advice and gave it only when asked, never forcing her opinions on others. She believed in giving everyone the freedom to be who they were and to make mistakes along the way. She forgave easily and completely, as long as someone she loved wasn’t wronged.
For those of us who were lucky enough to call her family or a close friend, we can tell countless stories of ways she taught us important life lessons through her divine story telling skills. We can share how she brightened our days with her joy in seeing us, which was evident in her wide and beautiful smile and her tight and special hugs. We knew well that her home was open to all of us at any time whether it was for a bathroom break or an extended stay. At holiday times, she reveled in hosting every event, tirelessly ensuring that each person’s dietary needs and likes were met. The beautifully set table always included traditions such as a grandparent’s china, a special aunt’s tablecloth, or a piece of artwork created by one of her children or grandchildren and then carefully saved to be used and shared at just the right moment. And toys. Every child was welcomed by Benita’s creativity and generosity.
Her proudest roles were those of the devoted wife of Theodore Marks, the doting mother of Eric (Barbara), Robert, and Jennifer (Marc) and the proudest grandmother of Melissa, Daniel, Cooper and Bennett. As the loving daughter of Federal District Court Judge Irving Ben Cooper and the beloved Anita Bennett Cooper, Benita grew up knowing that you had to fight for the underdog and did so in her quiet ways. When she found a heads’ up penny, she never kept it for herself, she collected it and gave it to someone who needed a little extra luck. She followed in her mother’s footsteps and became an elementary school teacher. Her first Kindergarten class overflowed with 42 students, far more than the norm, for whom English was a second language. Once again, Benita found unique ways to teach these struggling youngsters while making them feel comfortable and included in her classroom.
Children were, in fact, her greatest passion outside of her family, and children’s causes were the common thread on which she focused most of the tremendous body of her life’s work. Benita’s roles were too many to name, but included:
- President of PT Council for Mamaroneck School District
- Chairperson for the Superintendent’s Student Enrollment Advisory Committee, which developed the long-range plan known by many as “the Marks Report”
- President of Chatsworth Avenue PTA after being a volunteer who ran school fairs and built 2 new playgrounds, among other things
- Founder of Oasis - free teen “night club” that provided a safe, alcohol-free setting
- Founder of the Safe Rides program
- Board member of ICARE for the Homeless
- Board member of Larchmont/Mamaroneck Community Counseling Center
- Member of the Larchmont/Mamaroneck Substance Abuse Task Force
- Trustee and Deputy Mayor, Village of Larchmont
- For CASA, a division of Greater Mental Health of New York:
- Court Appointed Special Advocate
- CASA Supervisor
- Member of NY State CASA Board of Directors
- President of Barnard College Alumnae
- Co-Founder of Giggling Gourmets (another passion was cooking!)
Although Benita had a strong aversion to being singled out for praise, she nonetheless was inducted into the Westchester Seniors Hall of Fame in 2018, and honored by CASA / Greater Mental Health at their 2022 Gala.
Benita Marks was the ultimate giver. She gave her time, her ear, her heart, and literally the shirt off her back for anyone who needed help. Oftentimes her gifts were anonymously given. She never wanted credit for her good deeds; she just wanted to be sure the right thing was done the right way and she knew that she was the one who could get that accomplished. Quietly. Discreetly. Kindly. Lovingly.
The Benita Way was a path of service through dignity, never ever making any other human feel less than. Benita cared about what was on the inside - the outside never impressed her. It’s the ultimate irony that her heart gave out in the end because it’s that same loving heart that continues to beat within all of us.
The Marks family will be holding a celebration of the amazing and impactful life lived by Benita Cooper Marks. Details below:
- Friday 11/22; 2pm
- John J. Fox Funeral Home, Inc.
- 2080 Boston Post Road, Larchmont, NY 10538, 914-834-0144
- Following the memorial, the family will host those who wish to join us for refreshments at Eric’s and Barbara’s home:
- 103 Beach Avenue, Larchmont, NY
In lieu of flowers, the family would appreciate donations to CASA Westchester, a division of Greater Mental Health of New York, in memory of Benita Cooper Marks. CASA’s address is:
580 White Plains Road, Suite 510
Tarrytown, NY 10591